As the Ball Drops
by SpecsGlasses
Summary: Sometimes everything unfair in life can be reconciled...sometimes it's too late. Strange pairing, slash, modern day read and review FINISHED
1. Chapter One

Warning: Rating for cursing, eventual slash and suicidal tendencies.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the newsies. I don't even own my muses...they own me.  
  
Author's Note: HELLLO there! I wanted to write a Jack/Itey fic because it's one of my favorite pairings...I haven't seen it written before- only one by me in Survey Says and one in my friend Nakia-Aidan Sun's story, One Long Night. This was supposed to be a Christmas fic but it turned into a New Years Eve fic when my muses went on vacation...  
  
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Itey sat in his dark house, staring out a frosted window. He was a forlorn figure, his arms wrapped around his knees, his head resting ontop of them. Flurries were falling silently from the thick clouds above only to die on the streets below, warmed by the subways lying beneath them.  
  
A sigh escaped his lips as tears slowly started to cloud his vision. Life wasn't fair. It wasn't fucking FAIR! Nobody should have to be alone on Christmas...  
  
His phone began to ring shrilly, harshly cracking the silence that had fallen over his house. Itey didn't move, listening to it ring three times. It was probably his mother calling to wish him a merry day...or his boss telling him he was fired as he hadn't been to work in three days...  
  
The answering machine clicked on and, as the outgoing message came on, his face began to crumple. His recorded voice bounced off the walls.  
  
"Hi! You've reached Giueseppi and Rob-"  
  
Another voice added  
  
"Or Itey and Pie Eater-"  
  
"Depending on your mood."  
  
"That makes no sense Ite."  
  
"I know! Leave your name-"  
  
"Number-"  
  
"Any personal information we can sell over the internet-"  
  
"Itey!"  
  
"And we'll call you back-"  
  
"If you're not too afraid to leave a message now."  
  
"Leave one and get a llama!"  
  
"We gotta stop now."  
  
A sharp BEEP filled the house and Itey sighed, waiting for the message to begin.  
  
"Um...hey Itey, it's me..."  
  
Itey's face hardened as Pie Eater's familiar voice came on.  
  
"I just wanted to say...uh...merry Christmas..."  
  
Itey got up and began to make his way downstairs to the phone.  
  
"You must be out or something...I guess I'll-"  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
Pie Eater stopped abruptly. Itey's usual smiling, goofy voice was bitter. He was gripping his portable phone, slightly shaking as he heard his ex- lover take in a deep breath.  
  
"Listen Itey, I don't know what else I can say-"  
  
"Because there's nothing."  
  
"Why are you so MAD at me? It's not like just LEFT you without telling you!"  
  
"So I guess you think you deserve some sort of 'breaking up' medal because you did it KINDLY," Itey said, his voice thick with sarcasm.  
  
"Well, no but-"  
  
"But what Pie?! I thought you loved me, I didn't think that you would just decide to be STRAIGHT-"  
  
"I'm BI-"  
  
"Big fuckdidoo! You just left me!"  
  
"Please understand-"  
  
"Understand WHAT? How could just leave me, just LEAVE to be with some fucking STRANGER?"  
  
Pie Eater's voice hardened. "Itey I love her-"  
  
"Some fucking BITCH?!"  
  
"DON'T CALL HER THAT!" Pie Eater yelled, his voice startling Itey into silence, making him cry. Hot tears coursed down his face. Pie had never yelled at him before, not for the fifteen years he knew him or the six they were together.  
  
The silence stretched over the phone, making Itey sick. He couldn't believe what was happening, couldn't believe how Pie Eater didn't care...  
  
Itey broke the stony stillness, taking in a shuddering breath. When he spoke, his voice was angry and sarcastic, missing any sign of the quiver he had just had moments before.  
  
"Well I hope you're happy together. I hope you two get married, grow old and die together but I pray to God you never have kids because I pity the kids who would be raised by some retarded family breaking heart stomping mother fucking bimbo!"  
  
"How could you say that you don't even KNOW her."  
  
"I know enough!"  
  
"You know nothing-"  
  
"I KNOW enough. Now do me a favor ROBERT and go to hell because you're dead to me."  
  
"Wait-"  
  
"I HATE YOU!" Itey screamed, losing the little composure he had been holding onto. "I HATE YOU! NEVER call MY house again!" Itey fumbled to press the "off" button but, in his rage, couldn't find it. He threw the phone across the room and, with a sob, collapsed to the floor, sobbing into his arms. Because he knew that Pie Eater hated him. He knew he loved somebody else. But most of all, Itey knew that he had lost.  
  
END CHAPTER ONE  
  
Author's Note: Eek, I love crazy, rampaging Itey...ANYway, I hope you all like this and go read the next chapter.  
  
Shameless Plug: Go read "Romance Night at the Karaoke Bar" by Liams Kitten. It's the funniest story EVER, multiple pairings of everybody's favorites, great songs, wonderful storyline. You'll be happy to read it, I promise. 


	2. Chapter Two

Warning: Rating for cursing, eventual slash and suicidal tendencies.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the newsies. I DO own a laptop...paid for it myself so it's mine! YAY!  
  
Author's Note: Eh I have nothing...  
  
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Jack "Cowboy" Kelly sat the bar and looked at his watch for what seemed like the millionth and tenth time. He sighed impatiently when he saw the time. Six-thirty. Late again...  
  
The baretender looked at him, raising his eyebrows. Jack rolled his eyes and grunted "Another Bud" before turning his attention back to his watch. Where the hell WAS he?  
  
Just as the thought had formed and left his mind, the door to the bar opened, bringing in a gust of bitter air and premature flurries. Jack didn't bother looking, but began to drink his beer instead. "Hey Davey."  
  
A young man with big blue eyes sat on the stool next to Jack, shaking snow out of his curly hair.  
  
"Hey Jack, sorry I'm late-"  
  
"Yeah I know."  
  
The two of them stared at one another, expressions stony. A clock ticked. A man coughed. The Bartender rolled his eyes and wiped a glass.  
  
Davey started to laugh first, melting the aggravated look off of Jack's face.  
  
"Come here, you psychopath," said Jack and they both hugged, laughing like children.  
  
"I don't get it," muttered the Bartender, reaching for another beer to put in front of David. "Every time you two meet..."  
  
"Oh light up Kloppman! It's New Years Eve! And I only see this loser three times a year."  
  
"One too many in my bar," Kloppman grumbled, shuffling away from the two, muttering under his breath.  
  
David laughed and took his beer, turning to Jack. "Glad to see things never change."  
  
"Yeah, like being late-"  
  
"Or being easily annoyed."  
  
Jack shook his head and smiled. "Man, you have to stop working so hard. I didn't think I'd be able to see you this Christmas, you canceled so many times."  
  
Davey grinned sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders. "Everybody was away when the fly epidemic hit- I couldn't just leave them empty handed."  
  
"Yeah David, one giant bleeding heart."  
  
"Hey, at least I'm here in time for New Years! See, this is the THIRD time this year I saw you so there so HAH I win GIMME ANOTHER BEER!"  
  
Jack rolled his eyes at dave's outburst as Kloppman came shuffling over, only mildly annoyed. He had put up with that every year in college so this really was nothing...  
  
"Calm down Dave, it's not like I'm going to buy that for you."  
  
Davey coughed into his napkin. Though it wasn't as much as a cough rather than him saying "That's what you think" while making a noise which vaguely sounded like an asthemetic, eighty year old man who had just climbed to the top of his condo from the basement while carrying a big jar of prune juice.  
  
Jack let it slide. Mainly because he knew David was right."  
  
"So how IS life treating you Davey Boy? Your letter have been few and far in between."  
  
David took a swallow of his beer, shrugging. "Nothing's too interesting man. Still with Cathy, still a nurse...We got a dog though. Little Chihuahua. Named him Big. And a bird. Big parrot, named it Honey. She's a bit of a disappointment though. What about you?" Dave changed the topic abruptly. "Still with Jason?"  
  
"Nah," Jack said, grabbing a handful of pretzels, shoving them into his mouth. "That ended 'bout a month ago." David made a sympathetic noise and Jack shrugged. "Doesn't matter. I didn't love him. You know that."  
  
Dave nodded, suddenly fascinated with his napkin. "So you still love him?"  
  
Jack sighed, annoyed. "Of course I do Dave. How many TIMES, how many times..."  
  
Dave nodded slowly, staring off into space. "That's how many years now? Eleven?"  
  
"Twelve," Jack corrected. "Practically since I've known him."  
  
"That's nice," Dave said distractedly. Jack snapped his head towards him and narrowed his eyes.  
  
"You're being quiet today Walking Mouth."  
  
"Oh my God, nobody's called me that since COLLEGE Jack! I'm always quiet!" Jack raised his eyebrows.  
  
"You didn't earn that name for being quiet, Mouth."  
  
Dave's eyes opened wide in mock innocence. "Why Jack, whatever do you mean?"  
  
"You know something."  
  
"No I don't."  
  
"What do you know?"  
  
"Well, I know that it's impossible to lick your elbow."  
  
"Dave..."  
  
"Nothing is ever as good as the original."  
  
"DAVE!"  
  
"And that Pie Eater left Itey for Sharie."  
  
"DA-what?"  
  
Jack froze in disbelief, staring at David. His friend was wearing his "I know everything because I never get off the internet" smile, sipping his beer as though nothing had happened. As though he hadn't just told Jack the one thing he had been longing to hear ever since he had gotten the balls and ruined the chance to be with the only one he loved because he was too slow.  
  
"Pie Eater e-mailed me a few days ago telling me it was through," Dave said, ignoring the fact that Jack looked like he was going to throw up. "He had been seeing Sharie for a year- some girl from work. I think his boss or somebody just under his boss...or maybe above-"  
  
"DAVE!"  
  
"Right, so Pie Eater wantd ot have their first Christmas together and all that jazz- you know, meet the family, explain his sexuality, win them over with his home-baked bread...or did he make cookies, I really don't-"  
  
"DAVID!"  
  
"And too make a long story short-"  
  
"Too late."  
  
"Shut up Kloppman!"  
  
"Itey's broken hearted, spend Christmas all alone and won't talk to Pie at all. Though Pie's pretty mad at him too since-"  
  
Jack shut off David as his mind began to wander. Itey was the only boy Jack ever really loved. Ever since the first day he met him, he knew he was special...  
  
END CHAPTER TWO  
  
Author's Note: So yes, next chapter crazy flashback scene wooo...do you see what insomnia does... 


	3. Chapter Three

Warning: Rating for cursing, eventual slash and suicidal tendencies.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the blah blah blah  
  
Author's Note: All right, here's a crazy flashback scene which goes into a realization thingy yay...  
  
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"Hey kid, watch out!"  
  
Eleven year old Jack turned just in time for his face to make contact with a baseball.  
  
"DAMN!" he shouted, grabbing his face as, much to his disgust and horror, tears began to fill his eyes. It wasn't fair. It wasn't FUCKING fair, he was having the worst day EVER. He KNEW Junior High would be a mistake...should've stayed in fifth grade...  
  
Kids had been teasing him all day because he came to school wearing a cowboy boots, a cowboy hat and red bandana. Now they'd NEVER stop if they saw him crying...  
  
He walked over to a wall, looking down at his shoes. He was trying to make the tears stop when a frubby hand came into his view and lifted his head slowly.  
  
"Are you all right?" The ownrer of the hand spoke, a bit of an accent lingering on his words. Jack shrugged and sniffed, refusing to be teased. He would soak this guy if he tried...  
  
"Oh, don't be embarrassed. That ball was goin' faster'n a monkey who had just spotted a llama."  
  
Jack looked up, raising his eyebrows on such a strange comment. Chocoalte brown eyes, heavy with worry, dancing with laughter met his gray confused ones.  
  
"My name's Gieuseppi," the boy said cheerfully, without giving Jack time to reply. "But my friends Denny and Rob call me Itey 'cause I still got my Italian accent like I call them Specs and Pie Eater 'cause Specs wears glasses and Pie Eater makes bread.  
  
Jack just stared at Itey, who didn't seem to know how to take a breath.  
  
"Cool boots. I'll call you Cowboy. 'Cause that's what you look like. Have you ever seen a western? Your lip looks like a sausage." Jack touched his tongue to his lip and cursed, tasting the blood and swelling. "It's cool though. Like you were fighting one of those asses. Or a man eating penguin. Does it hurt? You should get some ice..."  
  
"Are ou always this annoying?" Jack finally managed to get out, his words slurring over his rapidly swelling lip.  
  
"Is the pope a young jewish woman with a hidden agenda?" Itey said happily, as though Jack had given him a compliment.  
  
Jack stared at Itey in disbelief. He had expected the psychotic Italian to leave him alone, but he wasn't budging. Neither his smile nor his voice had quivered.  
  
"I don't know about the hidden agenda part, so it that a sometimes?" Jack hesitiantly managed to say. Itey's smile grew larger and he rubbed his nose- something Jack would later realize meanth he was pleased with an answer.  
  
Itey introduced him to Specs and Pie Eater and the four had become inseperable, going to the same High School. The new experience didn't even change them, only adding Dutchy, Snitch, Mush, Skittery and Kid Blink to their happy band of lunatics.  
  
Then college had come, causing a rift in their group. Dutchy, Kid Blink and Snitch went off to Philadelphia, Specs to California, Mush and Skitts to Boston while Jack, Itey and Pie Eater had stayed in New York. Onlly Jack went to Brooklyn College while Itey and Pie, who, by then, were in love, stayed together upstate in Albany.  
  
Jack had lost contact with everybody except for Itey and occasionally Mush.though he found himself putting up walls of jealousy when Itey was around, even though they WERE best friends.  
  
He HAD been with a lot of people- Sarah, Medda, Joseph, William and Jason- but none of them had compared to the way he had felt about Itey. The way he STILL felt about Itey, the way Itey never felt about him...  
  
"-because turkies on the moon can NEVER survive."  
  
"Huh?" Jack snapped back to the present. David smiled smugly.  
  
"I knew you weren't listening. There's a pay phone over there you know..."  
  
"Why hasn't he told me?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I thought I was his best friend," Jack continued on as though he and David had been talking about this the entire time. "So why hasn't he called me?"  
  
"Jack, he hasn't told ANYbody according to Pie Eater," David said, fingering his beer glass. "He hasn't called anybody and won't pick up his phone or anything. And when Pie talked to him last he...wasn't himself..."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, Pie said that he sort of lost it..."  
  
"Itey? Lose it?"  
  
"Pretty bad...yelled and everything."  
  
"I've got to see him," Jack said abruptly, getting up off of the stool, walking to the door.  
  
"Going to try to rekindle something, are we?" David called, smiling from his stool.  
  
"RE-kindle? There has to be something there first, doesn't there?" Jack stopped at the door, about to leave. "There has to be something there first...doesn't there..." Jack began walking back to the bar.  
  
"Oh my GOD Jack!" David yelled as Jack took his seat again. "You blind LUNATIC! He DID like you BEFORE Pie, DURING Pie! Well, not liked as much as LOVED." Jack took his head out of his hands and stared at David, harldly moving.  
  
"Breathe Jack."  
  
"He used to love me?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"At the same time I was-"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And you-"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And didn't-"  
  
"No."  
  
"Even though-"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"  
  
"No you're not, Kloppman hates blood."  
  
"WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!"  
  
"Itey told me not to! By the time I found out he was with Pie and he didn't want to hurt him."  
  
"This is insane!" Jack yelled at the ceiling. "This is INSANE! I can't just go to him now."  
  
"Why the hell not?" David asked, incredulous. "You've been complaining about him for the past THOUSAND years and now, helllllo you can have him! GO TO HIM!"  
  
Jack couldn't explain it, couldn't even think it to himself. Why DIDN'T he want to go to Itey, now that he was free? What was holding him back, what did he WANT...  
  
"Oh man...what am I going to do...?"  
  
END CHAPTER THREE  
  
Author's Note: Allllll righty kids, that's it for tonight. The "big finale" chapters'll take place tomorrow or the day after. Not sure. Well, read, review, please refrain from flaming...something which should've been said in the first chapter but I'm slow like that. There are MASSAGE spelling errors because its late and I should be in bed and had to rush.all right night  
  
Alarice 


	4. Chapter Four

Warning: Rating for cursing, eventual slash and suicidal tendencies.  
  
Disclaimer: I still don't own them. Shocker, right?  
  
Author's Note: Sorry a bit later then I thought...New Years Eve THAT'S WHAT I BLAME, here's the next chapter  
  
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Itey lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom. He had never noticed how cracked the paint was. How the cracks seemed to form pictures...he could trace them now. Memorized them with his mind. There had been nothing else to do...How many days had he been lying there now? Three? Four? Itey didn't really care...it didn't really matter, did it?  
  
The tears had stopped now but the thoughts hadn't. It was as though a cork had been removed from a bottle of wine and somebody had begun to pour, slowly at first but faster as the days progressed. Memories haunted his sleep, disrupting the only escape from reality he had.  
  
He couldn't believe that this had happened to him. It always seemed to happen to HIM, he never seemed to be good enough for anybody. Nobody wanted him...Nobody ever wanted him...  
  
"Hey Itey."  
  
Itey turned over to see a lanky brunette, leaning against the post of his bed. His black eyes were cold and his face was hard, unsmiling and cruel.  
  
"Skittery?" he whispered, his chapped lips cracking at the effort of speech.  
  
"That's right kid," the boy said, a disgusting smile crossing his lips. "It's me. How ya been? You look like shit."  
  
"Why're you here?" Itey asked, his voice croaking, as it hadn't been used for the past three days.  
  
"To tell you you're right."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, you were thinking about how nobody likes you right?" Skittery started walking towards Itey nonchalantly, his black eyes burning holes into Itey's. "And I just wanted to tell you how right you were. Remember how I told you that? Remember back in High School when we broke up?"  
  
Itey's facial expressions didn't change but he felt his heart clench at the memory of Skittery, his first boyfriend. The boy who had left him to be with Snitch. The one who had told Itey he was good as a fling, but would never hold anybody's attention for long because he was too annoying. Too wimpy. Too whiney. Too stupid...A sad excuse for a human being. That's what he called him when Itey asked why he was leaving him...  
  
"Yes Itey, I can see you remember everything I said. Did you think that would change as you got older? Pie Eater left YOU to be with a girl you don't even know. You loved him, didn't you? Felt safe with him. Thought you two would be spending the rest of your meaningless lives together, didn't you? I know you did."  
  
Itey started to shake at his words. Why did this hurt so much, why did it hurt?  
  
"And Jack!" Itey's stomach dropped when he said his name. The name of the boy who he could never have and always wanted...the only one who could put up with his randomness and make him feel special with one look...one unintentional look...  
  
"Jack didn't even give a thought about you. Never liked you, did he? Never loved you. Remember what he did the night you were going to tell him? The night you TOLD him you had something important to tell him after his big track meet?"  
  
The memory hit him as hard as if Skittery had slapped him across the face.  
  
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Sixteen-year-old Itey sat in a booth at a local Pizza Hut, waiting for Jack to arrive. He was tearing the straw which had come with his Pepsi, his hands shaking slightly. He kept swallowing hard, shaking his head. Whispered words left his lips, words of self-encouragement, a one-sided pep talk.  
  
"Just say it Itey...Jack, I think you are the sexiest man alive...damnit you fool, no you can't just say it like that...all right...all right, it's Jack, I reallyreallyreally like you...no wonder people call you a girl Itey, you sure as hell sound like you should have fucking PIGtails in your hair...ok, ok...Jack, I've never felt like this about anybody before in my entire life. And even though I'm just sixteen, I think I...I know I...I love you..."  
  
A girl laughed, breaking Itey from his speech. Damn girl, he thought, furious at being disrupted. What the hell could be so FUNNY that she had to LAUGH?  
  
"Hey Itey!" Itey's heart jumped and his whole face broke into a smile at the sound of Jack's voice, and he turned happily to wave Jack over.  
  
But his smile froze and slowly faded as Jack made his way over, smiling broadly, his arm slung ever so comfortably around a girl.  
  
"H-hey Jack," Itey managed to get out, not even trying to mask the amazement he felt. "Who," he had to stop and clear his throat from an obnoxious lump that was beginning to form. "Who's your friend there?"  
  
Neither Jack nor the girl realized there was anything wrong with Itey. How could they? They were too busy staring at one another.  
  
"This is Sarah, she goes to a Private School across the city," Jack said. He took her hand and began to play with her fingers as Itey just stared. "I raced her brother, David, today. He tripped in the middle of the race and I wanted to make sure he was all right. We met at the infirmary."  
  
"Well isn't that nice!" Itey said, his voice too high and bright. "I think that's nice, don't you think it's nice? That's really nice."  
  
Jack didn't even notice, enthralled with the girl's lips. Ugly lips Itey thought angrily, too wide, too narrow...and my GOD she only had one eyebrow...why did he...why was he...  
  
The girl laughed as though somebody had said something funny. Itey was about to ask her if she would share the joke with the rest of the class because he was pretty much clueless when she did. Tell the entire restaurant.  
  
"JACK! OH MY GOD hahahahaahahahahaa my thighs are so ticklish!"  
  
Itey felt his heart begin to break slowly then, the lump in his throat growing unbearable. He watched as Jack went closer to Sarah, pulling her under his arm. He gave her a kiss, a kiss only HE knew how to do. One that lingered and moved in every way that was good, ending so sweetly and intoxicatingly you felt as though your head would explode from the endless rush of emotion.  
  
Tears came then, the blood from his broken heart come to pour out from his eyes. Blinking doesn't help, he realized quickly. It didn't break the picture in front of him. Didn't heal the hurt. Didn't matter.  
  
When Jack's hand began to make it's way up Sarah's arm, Itey couldn't take anymore. He cleared his throat again and jumped up from the booth, pushing the table over a little to jostle the couple.  
  
"So I have to go now," he said in that over bright voice, now quivering a little bit. "So I have to go. So I better get going because the thing's on the stove and you know that's never a good thing."  
  
Sarah laughed as though Itey had said something funny and Itey laughed too, to pretend he wasn't hurting so badly.  
  
"Um yeah, I'll see you Monday Jack?"  
  
Jack nodded, his arm still slung over Sarah's shoulders. She snuggled closer to him, putting her ugly head against his chest. Itey nodded back, looked at Sarah and nodded again. He turned and began to leave, though he hadn't gotten three steps before he heard Jack's voice.  
  
"Itey! Wait, come back here." Itey did as he was told even though he knew he was in danger of crying if he opened his mouth. "Didn't you have to tell me something important or something?"  
  
"No Jack, no that wasn't important no, I just wanted to make sure you'd you know pay the bill on the pizza hah you know so no, yeah I have to bye..." Itey couldn't manage a coherent sentence and he ran out of the Pizza Hut. Running away from giggling Sarah and the love of his life.  
  
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Itey sat up sharply in bed, his eyes wide and wild. He looked around his room for Skittery, ready to kill him for doing that. But he wasn't there. He room was empty, calm, undisturbed...nobody else was there.  
  
His heart was beating too fast, his breath too jagged. He took a few gulps, trying to calm himself down. It was only a dream...everything must've been a dream. He hadn't seen Skittery since High School and he wasn't sixteen anymore...it hadn't happened...well it had happened but...  
  
Skittery's words came back to him then and he fell back on top of his pillows in defeat. A real defeat he never felt before. There was no hope for him. Nobody wanted him. Nobody would ever want to be with him...Not Pie Eater, not Skittery, not the only one he ever loved. He was just taking up space...  
  
The idea came to him quickly, settling on his brain as he stared back at the ceiling. He was just like one of those cracks. Ugly and meaningless. Nobody really noticed them unless they were staring right at them. And even then they didn't want to see them. Wanted to repaint them so they didn't show. Wanted to kill them...  
  
He sat up slowly and, as though in a trance, left his bed. He walked slowly down the hall to the bathroom, not noticing how cold the floor was under his bare feet. He stepped inside silently and shut the door, though he knew no one would come in and disturb him.  
  
The medicine cabinet was open. His hands weren't even shaking as he reached for a bottle. Didn't know what pills they were really. It didn't matter. It was full. It would serve his purpose...  
  
He poured some of the fat white tablets into his hands. Right before he put them to his mouth, he caught site of his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Red swollen eyes, harsh chapped lips, long, narrow face.  
  
And then he swallowed.  
  
END CHAPTER FOUR  
  
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Author's Note: All right kids, there's ONE more chapter after this one and then I'm done. Read and review see ya.  
  
Alarice 


	5. Chapter Five

**Warning:** Rated for cursing, slash and suicidal tendencies

**Disclaimer:** cheese

**Author's Note:** Last chapter eight months late! WOOOO...ahem...sorry, I've been quite ill as most of you know, and haven't had the energy to write...but here it is, the last chapter in this story! Thank you everybody who has been reading and I hope you enjoy...

* * *

Beep...beep...beep...

Itey became aware of things slowly. His head on a pillow. The strange smell surrounding him. A pain in his head. The soreness...

He tried to clear his throat but found it was too dry. Felt like acid burned it away... Light began to filter into his vision as his eyes fluttered.

Thoughts began to sift into his mind as his eyes opened wider. Where the hell was he...the last thing he remembered ...

He tried to sit up, but it felt like there was a twenty-pound weight on his chest. He looked to the right and saw his arm attached to an IV. A white sheet covered his torso and the smell, he realized, was the clean starched kind from a hospital...

Confusion clouded his brain. HOW could he be in a hospital when the last thing he remembered was lying on his bathroom floor as darkness took over his mind?

Itey looked to his left and felt his eyes go wide with shock. There, lying sideways on a hospital chair was Jack. His sandy head rested against the wall, his legs slung over the armrest, obviously trying to make the chair some sort of bed.

A woman wearing a shlumpy white outfit, who Itey could only assume was a nurse, walked into the room. She smiled slightly when she saw his eyes follow her.

"Oh good, you've finally decided to join us," she chirped as she went over to check his IV. Great. A cheerful nurse. "You've been out for around three days now yah know. You're a very lucky man," she absentmindedly muttered, taking his pulse. "If HE hadn't found you in time," she nodded toward the sleeping Jack "You wouldn't be here. And lucky you are," she lowered her voice, as though conspiring "He's cute!" Bringing her voice back up to her normal level, she continued. "Now, let me get you a glass of water..." She winked at Itey and left the room.

Itey's head began to spin. What. The. HELL?! She KNEW he was gay? No wait, not important, Jack had done WHAT?

His mouth formed the word 'Jack' but his throat refused to allow the word to be sounded. He gathered his strength to push himself up. He looked around the bright room, trying to find a way to attract Jack's attention without speaking. His eyes fell on a pencil, resting on a desk next to his bed. He reached over, grabbed it and carefully tossed it at Jack, wincing as he was still sore.

The pencil, of course, missed.

Before Itey could curse, the nurse re-entered the room, smiling widely and carrying a cup of, what he could only assume to be, water.

"Here you go," she said, handing him the cup. With a silent smile she left him again. Itey glared at her retreating back. Thanks for explaining things idiot!

Itey gently sat up and, clutching the cup in a shaking hand, took a sip. His throat immediately eased, being able to clear it now. He turned to croak at Jack.

"Jack." He cleared his throat again and took another drink of the water. "J**ACK**," he managed to say loudly. Jack squirmed, eyes still closed, and crossed his arms over his chest.

Exasperated, Itey threw the half-filled cup at Jack's head.

This time, it didn't miss.

"Humphuh?" Jack started as the cup hit him and water spilled onto his hair. He blinked a couple of times and instantly looked to the bed. His face changed from worried to relieved to angry as he spotted Itey sitting up.

"Itey! You're up you're an IDIOT oh my God," Jack said, his words falling on top of one another. He grabbed Itey's hand in his. Itey stared at him dumbfounded. Jack's eyes were staring into his, so scared, so livid, so...loving?

"Jack, what the hell happened?" Itey asked slowly, his voice still gruff. "I thought I died."

Jack cupped Itey's face in one rough hand. His eyes began to shine as he told Itey what had happened-

* * *

Jack ran up the stone stairs of Itey's house. Snow speckled his hair and dampened his red face. He had run all the way from the bar, twenty blocks away, too impatient to wait for a train or a bus. He composed himself on the top step, breathing in deeply to catch his breath- to stop his hands from shaking. Which of course didn't work.

He reached one quivering finger out and rang the doorbell.

Jack could hear the ring bounce off the walls of the house, easing his worry that the doorbell would be broken.

A few minutes passed and nothing happened. A new worry crept into Jack's mind, one he had been trying to avoid. But that of course was ridiculous, there was no need to jump to THAT conclusion how silly

He rang the doorbell again, then more frantically as nothing was stirring inside the darkened house. He began to bang on the door.

"ITEY! Itey come on, it's me! It's JACK ITEY! ITEY OPEN THE DAMNED DOOR!" He wasn't sure why he started shouting. Unknown panic rose from his stomach into his throat. If he wasn't in of course he would be out why wouldn't he be out it's only what a normal person would do

He looked frantically around and spotted the flowerpot Itey had told him hid the key sitting on the sill next to him. Jack threw it to the ground, grabbing the key as the pot shattered.

Shaking hard he tried to fit the key in the lock. Please be ok please be ok oh god Itey

The door slammed open and Jack ran in the dark house, immediately noticing how the air wasn't much different from outside. How was he living with no heat...

"ITEY! Itey!" Jack called, running down the front hall into the kitchen. There were plates in the sink which obviously hadn't been touched for days. The fridge was open and Jack could see there wasn't anything in there but baking soda and lemons.

A panic gripped Jack's chest then and he took off, running through the house.

"Itey where are you? Itey? ITEY it's Jack, it's me! Where are you..." He ran up the stairs, taking two at a time.

The upstairs was as still as a graveyard- a thought that made Jack more frightened than he already was. A lump grew in his throat as he frantically tried to find what room Itey was in- neither of the bedrooms or the closet. There was only one more door.

Jack tried to push it open but found something was blocking it. He peaked through the crack and his body turned to ice.

Itey's head was blocking the door.

* * *

Itey's eyes had left Jack's face as he half-listened to his story. Jack's voice had cracked more than once telling him what had happened. He cleared his throat and continued speaking.

"They took you here and they pumped your stomach...all those pills." Jack shook his head, blinking hard. "And bandaged your head, where the door hit it...when they tried to get you out."

"I wasn't expecting to be disturbed," Itey whispered, looking at his dirty hands. For some reason those words triggered something in Jack's brain, causing fire to come back into his eyes.

"What the hell were you trying to pull Itey? Pie Eater leaves you so you try to fucking kill yourself? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?" Jack yelled, his temper getting the best of him.

"I just...I...Jack please...," Itey whimpered, scared at the sudden rush of emotion. He couldn't bear it if Jack hated him and he would just have to re-try what he had already failed at.

"What is it Itey? Are you really THAT thick? Why would you hurt everybody like that? WHY would you **want** to kill yourself?" Jack asked, trying to calm his voice. He looked at Itey, but his friend wasn't there. It was a stranger, a child, defenseless and sad, so small and lonely.

Jack's heart clenched. He took Itey's hand in his and kissed the knuckles, but Itey didn't notice. A tear fell from his down-turned face onto his sheet.

"I had been sitting in the room...on our...my bed, and I was just thinking...I...I'm just a nobody. Nobody ever wants me," Itey whispered, his voice cracking at the end of the sentence. He rubbed his face, trying to make the tears stop but found it only made things worse.

"That's not true Itey," Jack said softly, his anger melting away for a minute.

"Yes it is!" Itey startled himself by yelling, looking up into Jack's face. "Pie Eater left me for some bitch! Skittery left me in fucking High School and you-," his voice cut off as he realized what he was saying and looked at Jack.

Jack was staring at him, his mouth slightly opened. He was still holding Itey's hand in his. Itey shook his head.

"I'm just no good," he whispered in a voice that scared Jack. It was a voice devoid of anything but hopelessness. He pulled his hand away from Jack's and rubbed his nose, trying to stop tears from falling. It usually worked too...

Jack felt his anger vanish as suddenly as it had arrived. He choked back his own tears, not caring if he sounded like a woman. Because it was true. "God...I just felt so helpless...I didn't want to go into the room because I'd have to open the door and oh shit, your head was RIGHT THERE Itey. RIGHT THERE. And YOU were right there, but I couldn't get to you...oh God..."

Jack stopped talking to wipe tears that had formed on his cheeks. He took Itey's chin gently and pulled it up, forcing him to look at Jack's pale eyes.

"I don't know what I would've done if you had died," he said slowly and clearly, staring straight into Itey's drowning eyes.

"You would've gone on, just as always," Itey whispered, trying to pull away from Jack's gaze. It was unsettlingly familiar. "I told you, I'm just a nobody. You would've cried and gone on."

Jack shook his head, not allowing himself to look away from Itey's face. "No," he choked. "No Itey, I wouldn't have gone on at all. I couldn't." He swallowed hard and took Itey's face in both his hands, cupping his chin in his palm. "I love you."

Itey pulled his head away from Jack, nodding. "I know you do, you're my best friend-"

"No Itey. Don't be dumber than you've already proved. I love you." Jack's pale eyes were so intense, Itey found himself falling into them. He saw it there, saw truth there...but it couldn't be true.

"Don't lie to me Jack, please," he said hopelessly. Jack ran a hand through his hair, almost frustrated.

"I'm not lying!" he half-shouted. "I LOVE you Gieuseppi! I have loved you since Freshman year! Of _High School_ but you never seemed interested and then I was with Sarah for some reason and you were with Pie Eater after and..." he stopped, took a breath and continued, desperately trying to make Itey believe him "It was always you. Everybody was nothing, I was always nothing with them, but I knew," Jack whispered hardly, his eyes not leaving Itey's face "I knew I would be something..." his voice trailed off.

Itey looked like a hammer had hit him in the head. How come he had never known...was it it...

Itey's thoughts were broken but Jack's lips, gently brushing against his. Itey tensed for a minute, his eyes open wide over Jack's kiss, but he tentatively pressed back.

The kiss broke slowly, none really wanting to end the sweetness. They looked at one another, each surprised at what the other had done. Silence hung between the two, growing thicker with each second.

Jack finally cleared his throat. "So!" he squeaked, nodding.

"I've always loved you too," Itey whispered, looking at his hands again. "But you never seemed to want me...so I fell in love with Pie Eater, but I never got over you. I've always wanted you."

He looked up at Jack's face, blurred by the tears that were starting again. Jack leaned in to touch their lips again, but stopped as the door opened.

"Oh hello, so you're up too!" Jack groaned and turned his charm to the nurse. "Yes ma'am, I didn't want to sleep through your arrival again."

The nurse laughed and went over to check Itey's IV again. She nodded, content with what it said, and started talking again. "Great how you two are both up in time to bring in the New Year!" She laughed, waving good-bye.

Jack checked his digital watch and whistled. "Twenty seconds 'til it comes," he said, taking hold of Itey's hand.

A smile barely sat on Itey's lips. "Something tells me, it'll be a better year."

Jack smiled strongly. "Something tells me you're right."

Outside, part of the world counted down the arrival of the New Year. Champagne was poured, poppers' popped, confetti flew and lovers kissed.

Inside the hospital room, the lights glared, the T.V was off and little sound drifted into their world. Nothing interrupted their kiss.

End

Author's Note: DUUUUUUUUDE I just finished a fanfic! ::fireworks go off as a band plays some marching band thing:: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT AAAAAAAAAH! I feel special...so what if it's like...years late, and it's the sappiest ending EVER? ...ok so shout outs...

**SHOUTOUTS**

Braids21: DUDE I'm sorry I left ya hangin' so long =X Please accept these roses as my apology ::Mush skips over and hands roses:: THANKS FOR READING AND THE REVIEWS!

Chicago: Argh, I was so bad in updating this I know. I hope you enjoyed the story adnt hanks for the reviews! ::sends Mush over with llamas::

StrawberriShake: AH I FINISHED! Did you likey? I hope so! THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS AND READINGN YOU ROCK! ::sends Itey over with balloons:: those are for you,

Shadowlands: Pfft, Itey was hallucinating that Skittery was in his room silly. SEE I FINISHED I UPDATED! It's possible...thanks for being so patient dear. As a prize...::Mush, Skittery and Itey come out and start doing a strip tease:: For your viewing pleasure...

Nakaia Aidan-Sun: I FINISHED LOOK AT THAT! Thanks for reviewing all the chapters ::sends Blink over with tulips:: Those are for you hehe. THANKS FOR READING!!

Obsessed Wit' Aaron Lohr: Here, I gave you more and I finished it! YAY! Aren't you glad?? ::sends Mush with daisies:: those are for you! Thanks for reading YAY!

Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing! BYE

-!-Alarice-!-


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